How do I know if I’m relating to a toxic person?
The best indication of when a person is toxic to you is how they make you feel. Do you feel anxious, like you have to “walk on eggshells” when they’re around? Do you feel exhausted or drained when you interact with them? Do they make you feel powerless? If the answer to any of these questions is “Yes”, then you’re probably relating to someone who’s toxic to you.
What’s are some important things for me to know about dealing with a toxic person?
First off, that you’re not crazy! This may be a person who is well-liked by others, and, for whatever reason, is toxic to you. Our triggers are different, and that’s OK. Secondly, how you confront a toxic person depends not only on their behavior, but your relationship with them. For example, if someone is bullying you, it probably won’t work to be gentle, loving and mild with them. If the person bullying you is your boss, however, you probably shouldn’t have a loud confrontation with them in public. And, lastly, you may not be able to change the behavior of the toxic person, but when you change your response to them, it has a positive effect on the relationship.
I’m not sure if someone I’m dealing with is toxic. How can I tell?
There are certain behaviors that are pretty universally toxic. If the person berates and humiliates you in public, that’s a huge red flag. Do they expect you to read their mind instead of asking directly for something, then get mad at you about it? Even more simply, does the person stress you out? That’s usually a sign that something’s amiss.
What can I expect from Relationship Communications Coaching?
You can expect me to act as your ally. I’m not easily shocked or offended, so you really can say what’s on your mind. Being taken seriously and really listened to is the first step towards creating an emotionally safe environment where you can tackle what’s bothering you. Additionally, you can expect helpful tools to help you handle toxic people in a different and more empowered way.
What if the toxic person is someone in my family?
That adds a whole layer of specialness. Family members can trigger us like no one else, often because we feel their behavior reflects on us. Some negative family dynamics have had a lifetime (yours) to develop. Although you may not be able to magically transform your family into an ideal loving unit, asserting yourself in an empowered way, with support, can often improve your experience of thorny family gatherings and dreaded phone calls.